Month: January 2009

I get a bit rummy when I spend all day in the house. However, there are those days where it’s not to be helped. Between this blasted cold that seems to be the latest team-building exercise at work, a project due on Thursday (Visual Basic class at Edmonds Community College), and a general malaise, I’ve been sitting here watching the sun move across the sky from my couch.

Days like this leave me in a foggy mental state. At some point I always need to get outside, no matter how ucky I feel. I’ve pondered this before, but never figured out the mechanism at hand. This didn’t affect me during my years of submarine service. However, the sub was quite a bit bigger than my humble condo. Perhaps it was the manic busy-ness. Anyway, though I’ve not completed anything I wanted to, I’m about the abandon it all and get outside. Whether a drive, a small walk, or sitting in the backyard in the mud, I’m getting out.

Like many people, I couldn’t imagine living this long. However, this is not so much a fault with my vision, rather a lack of visioning. Rarely have I lifted my gaze towards the future, towards the sun at dawn. As life has progressed, my nose has drifted lower, resting against the proverbial grindstone. One would expect a bloodied pulp proboscis by now.

Visioning, or it’s lack, has been something of a problem for me. It’s hard to plan, to develop goals without a vision. So much of my life has been lived with an immediate focus, short-term mentality. Though I’ve strived to raise my gaze, old habits compel with force. Not powerless, but easily seduced, these impulses drag me down the familiar path.

Perchance to dream, to see a future with clarity. Thus to vision, to provide direction, then goals and that fulfillment of life. Such is what I seek.