Category: Personal Reflections

3:00 am, I receive a text, and slept through it. Logical, acceptable, and yet still painful. A friend hurting, and I wasn’t able to be there. She worked her way through, so no guilt on that. No, it’s deeper. 

3:00 am, I receive a text, and slept through it. Logical, acceptable, and yet still painful. A friend hurting, and I wasn’t able to be there. She worked her way through, so no guilt on that. No, it’s deeper. 

I seek balance, balance between career and family, spiritual and earthly. Balance, perhaps the zen of yin and yang.

Balance, though, is not a steady state, rather continuous action. Balancing, redistributing; because you can’t have it all, only what you prioritize

Thus, knowing what’s important is critical. Having goals, big overarching ones to guide you, to allow you focus.

With that, one of my traps: forgetting that I can shift, adjust to the changing reality. And that’s the real goal, to grow, learn and adjust. Its OK for the goals to move. Actually, its critical. If we’re growing, we’re learning. That new knowledge will open up possibilities we never could consider before. The glorious future unimaginable. 

I’ve seen life’s frivolousness, the extreme fickleness of fate. A randomness haunting life. This uncertainty drives many to fear. Me? Connection: my drive is to connect, deeply, richly. Not simply awareness of Facebook updates (or Facebook’s kin). Rather to comment, engage, share: whether that’s humor, insight or compassion. An actual presence, of which we both are aware. Friends and family: this matters most. If, at the end of our life, no one cares, or worse, our death generates a feeling of relief, a release from the miseries we’ve inflicted, has our life any value?

For the past few years, taekwondo has been my main side activity. The only larger pieces of my life have been work and writing; perhaps it’s tied with photography. So, I thought it good to share some of what I’m experiencing here.

Most delightful has been weightloss. I’ve managed to drop around 20 pounds since I started. This is more than the martial art, as I’ve worked hard to increase my fitness level, but it has been the central activity. And I’ve developed better balance and strength.

My whole family participates, so it’s been particularly joyful. Plus all three of us have developed good friendships with our fellow students.

So, I leave you with a few things I’m most proud of. Above, you see my red-belt test results. And, below, is a video of my board breaks for the same test.

From the perspective of the creative, direction (channeling) and stifling look very similar. Ultimately, it’s the end goal that determines the difference. Channeling is about helping the creation be the most effective, most powerful it can be. Stifling is about eliminating a threat, whether that threat is direct (ie: being offended) or indirect (ie: fear of your child’s career because they’re “wasting time” on the arts).

One challenge for the creative: finding the right mentors. As youth, our mentors and leaders are chosen for us. Think teachers, pastors, camp counselors…you get the picture. Generally, finding the right mentor to trust is act of pure luck. As we get older, and (hopefully) wiser and more aware, we are able to be more direct about choosing who we let into those positions of trust. But even as youth, it’s often possible to determine the difference, and, thus, put the stifling actions off to the side.

On the other end, it’s important for us leaders to direct, to channel, to help the creatives around us maximize their voice. Part of that is getting the right challenges in front of the right minds. Part of it is to relax our egos and hear the voices of the different. And, the biggest part, is to focus on that caring, compassionate core and focus on bringing the best out in everyone around us.