Facing Forward, Pursuing Progress
I’ve long been fond of puns, wordplay, and just dumb jokes.
I just stumbled upon this one, which ties with one I posted a few days ago:
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.
So, with that, I hope you’re having a lovely run-up to Christmas. I won’t remind you have many (few) shopping days there are left. If you aren’t done yet, I wish you the best of luck.
A person running a grater in the kitchen should be called a gratist. And the best one should be the greatest gratist.
One of my favorite online comics, Lunarbaboon, featured this dad joke today:
In the comments, Derek S. left this gem of a dad joke:
I went to see my new doctor today, and I have to admit, I was a little shocked. He was from Madrid, and he had sleeve tattoos and tattoos on both hands. My surprise must have been obvious because he said “it’s okay, you’re not the first. No one expects the Spanish inked physician.”
It hints at this classic Monty Python sketch, which I’ve added below for the edification of those unfamiliar with Monty Python.
Two satellites decided to get married. The wedding wasn’t much, but the reception was incredible.
Ah, fun, fun, fun! It was a lovely day here just north of Seattle. The morning was cool and cloudy. By early afternoon, it was clear and sunny. I hope your day was good.
Let’s start the day with a bad…er…dad joke
So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says “Give me some chap-stick… and put it on my bill”
This one just quacked me up, though some might be upset at the fowl language.
Thanks for humoring my humor. I much appreciate it.
I knew I shouldn’t have ate that seafood. Because now I’m feeling a little… Eel
Something fishy about that pun.
Anyway, bon appetite!
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
Crafted this one up on Canva, which lately is my go-to for quick graphic needs. Whether YouTube thumbnails, a quick poster (like this one), or to add text of a haiku to one of my images, Canva is solid. It is very powerful, with lots of templates, lots of fonts…you get the idea. Of course, it’s nowhere nearly as powerful as Photoshop, but most folks never need that kind of “umph”.
A Sandwich walks into a bar, the bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve food here”
And the random observation: Coding things makes you feel like a wizard! Whether that’s a website, or an Excel function. It’s pretty nice!
If you know me well, you know I have an affinity for dad jokes. Puns, groaners, all the quintessential “dad jokes”. I find them funny and kind, not delighting in crudeness or cruelty.
So, with that in mind, I’ll start posting daily (near daily?) dad jokes for your delight and edification. So, here’s number one.
What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!
So, I hope your Monday went well and that you have a marvelously productive week.
Sorry to torment you with this…
…ok, not sorry….
There’s a cop on the side of the road, checking for speeders. A car flies by and the cop sees 12 penguins in the back of the car. The cop hits his sirens and pulls the guy over, runs up to the window, and says, “What are you doing with 12 penguins in the back of your car?”
The guy says, “I dunno.”
Cop replies, “Well I think you should take those penguins to the zoo.”
“OK,” the guy replies.
Next day, the cop’s on the side of the road again. Same car flies by, 12 penguins in the back of the car. Cop hits the sirens, pulls the guy over, runs up to his window, and says, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!”
Guy replies, “I already did. And now we’re going to the movies.”