“Be myself? I’d rather die.”

one black chess piece separated from red pawn chess pieces

Substack has a feature where they serve up posts that I might like. Not all of them have been been hits, much less home runs (wait…why the hell am I serving up sports analogies?). But this one was good! “Be myself? I’d rather die“, a post by psychologist Adam Mastroianni, and it looks at many things, but the focus that spoke to me was on the evolutionary value of conformity.

TLDR: social norms are one way we communicate our learnings about survival. He references cassava, which is edible ONLY when prepared correctly. Otherwise, it’s potentially lethal. Makes me think of the Hebrew proscription about pork, as an other example.

It’s rather eye opening to consider that social norms are often survival mechanisms. And, thus, that feeling of “needing to obey them”, even when they don’t seem to match make much more sense.

I want to remind folks, though, that as valuable as those learnings are, it’s the people willing to push through the norms and challenge are the ones that change things. I’m sure, at one point, no one ate cassava as it’s rather problematic until “treated”. Yet someone, somewhere, said, “I think I can eat this”, and, for whatever reason, we stumbled through it and the world was changed.

I appreciate the insights, especially on why the urge to conform is so damn powerful. However, I intend to live my somewhat contrarian life. I’ve enjoyed most of it so far.

Mind-Full vs Mindful

Found this gem on Pinterest today:

I expect that, in today’s culture in the US, this is an easy post to connect with. Well, at least I do! There’s always so much bumping around in my mind. For several years I practiced focused mediation, and I got more aligned with the horse here. I still work on that, but not with as much dedication.

I’ve found that I miss out on so much when lost in the flurry of modern life. Which makes me think of the classic Thoreau quote: “…I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.”

So, take a reminder early in the year to budget time to step out of the busyness of life and, well, just embrace living.

Yesterday was the Longest Night

photo of city under cloudy sky

Some random stats as I think about the apex of our night-life for my community just north of Seattle. Your mileage may vary.

  • Sunrise was at 7:55am
  • Sunset at 4:18 pm
  • Therefore we had 8.38 hours of sunlight
    • That’s 35% of the day with daylight
    • And, therefore 65% of the day was night
    • 15.62 hours of darkness!

Fortunately, slowly, slowly, the days will start lengthening. And another year begins.

A Momentary Pause

feasting on sunlight
brief bits of joyful color
momentary pauseĀ 

A few days ago I was walking along the nearby waterfront. This burst of color captured my attention, both at the moment and then yesterday, which I spent resting, recovering from my second dose of Moderna. I got a fair amount done in spite of my day of rest, but I didn’t get a haiku posted.

An update on education

This is from one of my assignments this week, and it seemed like a great blog post. So, enjoy!

  • What was the most pressing issue(s) you had to deal with during this course?
    • My biggest challenge this quarter was time. All my courses took more time than my past ones. With that, I had a few side-projects that were more time-intensive than I was anticipating. I often was submitting assignments right on the edge of their being due. This, not something I like! I value proactivity and being solidly ahead, exceeding deadlines. With that, I like to have time for an in-depth review of my readings afterward. That was not easy to make happen.
  • How did you overcome it or remedy the issue(s)?
    • I dealt with this mainly by being more thoughtful. I made it a point to slow down as I read and take better notes at that point. I recognized that I might not have the time to re-read every chapter, but I could take the time to review my notes. So it was critical for those notes to be valuable. I also leaned heavily on things like Quizlet, a flashcard app, which I have on my phone and iPad, and I use this on my PC as well. That enabled me to review things at more random moments. A quick flip through flashcards while waiting at the doctor’s office, dentist’s office, bank, etc. In this time of Covid, I have spent a fair amount of time waiting in lines. Being able to squeeze every bit out of my days has been vital.

A Walk Along The Waterfront

through fading sunlight

walk along the waterfront

filled with memories

Most of my life orbited the Edmonds waterfront, just north of Seattle. My grandparents lived here. So many memories of walking with my grandfather here, sometimes riding the ferry. He loved talking with everyone, hearing their stories. His gift of listening appreciated.

A Few Thoughts On This Christmas Day

Christmas Tree

After a lovely day with my family where I got to feel joy and contentment, remembering happy moments at various times in my life, I received a reminder that not everyone reflects on their childhood with happiness. Surviving Childhood Trauma is a blog that, well, it’s title sums it nicely. And today’s post, Trauma & the Holidays serves as a reminder that not everyone’s memories are laden with love and joy. We need to honor our friends and neighbors who find the holidays to be times of horror, anguish, and pain.Ā And, especially after the year that 2020 has been, many people are struggling with loss, sadness, despair, and loneliness. Those feelings should be honored, too. Such are the elements of grace.

May we all find peace, grace, and well-being this season. And here’s to a 2021 with less misery and more connection.

Featured Image by Olenka SergienkoĀ fromĀ Pexels